So part of my 'me' year includes resuming counseling.
I met a brand new worman and I instantly clicked with her. Before I knew it an hour had passed and she had all my history pin pointed.
She asked me a few questions I just have to mull over.
Have I processed my divorce (it has been 23 years)
Do I understand my emotions
Who am I?
It is very difficult to believe that at the mid point of my life I cannot really answer those questions - but the exciting part will be the journey to find out.
She also made some keen observations:
1. The system failed me
2. My voice has been squashed
3. My guilt has to be let go of.
4. I have multiple personas.
I've never used a counselor personally, but my daughter is a different person because of a very effective counselor. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks Linda.
DeleteI've had good ones and bad ones - the good ones really do help!
I think in general, we aren't encouraged in this world to ask those deep questions. We are encouraged to seek what feels good now and not ask questions of the price to be paid later. Many of us, I suspect, have notions of what and who we are supposed to be, pressed upon us. And when we try to buck those ideas off; we are "rebels" or not "normal." When really we are just seeking our authentic selves -- something that should be encouraged.
ReplyDeleteI agree - when she asked me those questions I was really thrown for a loop. I have spent the last 56 years 'being' who I thought I should be and never really thinking of who I was. I am really excited to find out!
DeleteThis is just awesome, Brenda! I love your candor, and I totally support counseling, it's helped so many people to make peace with their lives and it sounds like you've found the perfect match in a counselor, she did an amazing amount of discovery in just one session! Wow, those are good questions for most of us to ponder!! I had to completely rediscover myself after I left my ex. I spent three marriages being what I as supposed to be for them, and slowly losing who I was. Now I like me for the most part, though I do wish there was a little less of me! :-). I have multiple personas too, there is definitely a dark side and light side, and I have to really work to be the one I like best. I'll be cheering for you all the way!
ReplyDelete