Sunday, March 13, 2016

Journal Entry 3/13/16

Before I start my journal I want to say:  I am doing a 5 words in 5 days starting tomorrow 3/14/16
I will put in a linky if you want to do the same on your blog - if not, that's okay too!

This was not one of the greatest weeks of the year. I thought it would have been great seeing as how it was a short week for me - had taken Monday off.  It actually started on the right tune, but I got yet another sore throat on Thursday that has now turned into a cough AGAIN.  I feel like I have been on this merry go round since October - Strep Throat, Bronchitis, Sinus Infections,.....

I see no future at my current job, however the pay is good and it is tolerable. I don't really have the energy to look for something else. I have learned to just turn my emotions off once I walk in the door. I work the hours I am expected to and nothing more.

The biggest WOW moment of the week happened on Saturday morning when Michelle and I went to the farmers market. On the way home she told me that nothing was really working in her life and if it didnt get better she didn't see any point in being here.  NOW what do you say to that?  I called her about an hour later and told her I loved her very much and I would be really sad if she did anything to herself. She told me she wasn't going to do anything.  It is just so hard to watch a child go through so much anxiety, depression and stress and know that you cannot do a thing about it.

7 comments:

  1. I have a friend going through the same thing. It's scary to watch them go through and feel so helpless. But I try not to sound Hopeless -- maybe it's a futile wish to dream that I have enough for two; but I can try!! I hope it all works out for her.
    Get better soon!! I just got over a cold and am so thankful it was not a repeat of last year where it hung around for almost 2 months! ugh - that was awful.

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  2. My friend lost her husband about 9 months ago, and she is struggling. Her doctor is adjusting and readjusting anti=depressants, so it's definitely a concern.

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  3. The constant merry-go-round of not feeling good is very wearing on mind and soul. I fantasize about waking up and feeling great and energetic one day. Let's focus on that and maybe we can get there! So much of it has to do with jobs, and I often feel like you do, I like parts of my job and my coworkers, but I'd so much rather not see my life flying by as I sit behind a desk pushing papers and punching keys on the keyboard. My heart goes out to you with your daughter, I have been there more times than I want to remember. My daughter deals with chronic clinical depression and her life has been anything but easy. As parents we can see the bigger picture even when they can't. Most days I have finally convinced my daughter that one bad day doesn't make a bad life and to hold on for the next one and the next one. It is scary though, because they keep so much bottled in and are resistant to getting help with it on an ongoing basis. I say "I love you, I need you, I believe in you" ever time we talk, and I pray and pray... and worry too. HUGS and hopes for better times for both our girls. I'll pray for yours if you pray for mine! XOXO

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