Saturday, February 13, 2016


when my daughter approaches me and asks what really happened when she was born how do I tell her?

How does one own up to the fact that they put their own childrern at risk as a mechanism of self survival?

How does one not think of themself as a horrible person?

No comments required


  1. I don't think it is possible for anyone to understand exactly what you were going thru at that time or therefore to judge you. Our survival instinct is incredibly strong, and maybe at the time it's the only answer you could see. We are not perfect, we make so many mistakes in our lives and as parents, and we carry huge regrets. At some point we have to forgive ourselves, and to realize that we can only move forward. Your children have turned out great, and they are all now old enough to also learn forgiveness and to make the lives they want for themselves without blaming the past. My daughter's life was so much harder because of choices I made when she was a child. I can't undo that, but she has learned to be a survivor and is stronger than she believes, and the love between us is endless. Yours will get there too, given time. Xoxo

  2. My mom has revealed a little bit at a time over the years, as I got older, about my real father. None of it is really good. And I know there's a lot more - probably the worse - that she holds back. I mean, he went to jail, so I kinda know he was not a good person and I feel now I don't really need all the details. But the single most important thing is I don't blame my mother for anything. We can't control, let alone always predict, the actions of another. And they are Always the ones responsible for their actions; not their victims. It doesn't matter if people say my mom should have been smarter, stronger, fearless - it never will be okay that he was not a good man. That's on him. My mom got out when she did feel stronger and able to care for me on her own, and that's what matters in the end. And she's been with me every single step since. Love sticks and it can cover over a multitude of things done wrong. I learned that in time, and hopefully your daughter will too.


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