I have a brother that is 13 months older than me that I was very close to growing up. Considering I had 10 brothers I had to pick one - right? That's beside the point.
Paul and I were really close - he helped me move into college - he came and visited me. We talked about absolutely everything! We even got married 6 weeks apart from each other. As our lives matured the distance between us was great, but we were still very close. I got a yellow lab, he got a black lab. His died from poisoning, my was hit by a car.....
He got divorced after 5 years, I lasted 6 - he had no kids - I had 3 ---- and therein lay the beginning of the rift. I was a very confused 33 year old with 3 kids under 4 and all I knew was that they needed to be protected and cared for. He had no idea what that was all about. He met and married a nurse and I did not attend their wedding - it wasn't that I didn't want to, it was just that he was getting at the exact time I was supposed to be 100 miles away picking up my children and I made a choice. I have actually regretted that choice for many years and when we spoke about it a couple of years ago he said he hadn't even remembered and that I should just let it go. I finally have!
Tonight I called him because I have been thinking about him a lot and he turns 57 in 2 days. As we talked and I told him that I really missed him as my brother he told me that life took us in different directions and that we had separate lives now. I agreed and said but that is no reason why we can't at least communicate more often.
I left the phone call with a calmed feeling - as if there were so many things I had wanted to discuss with him for so long that I finally did.